For some reason a lot of old memories have been surfacing for me lately.  I was on a couple of forums recently and was reading the painful and heartfelt posts of mothers who have or are currently miscarrying their babies.  Hearing their stories instantly took me back to the days when I was the woman so desperately trying to<strong><em> stay</em></strong> pregnant, worried over every single twinge and then suffering the deep anguish of losing a baby.  Twice.

Here's the thing about an early miscarriage - It's difficult to explain to someone who's never been through it how it feels to be pregnant one day and then not the next but with empty arms.   To be honest people generally don't know how to deal with a friend or family member who has lost a baby through miscarriage.  They may want to help and be supportive but many people don't know what to say and often end up saying the wrong things.  You try not to take it personally but really the last thing you feel like doing is listening to comments that make you feel worse.

Here are some tips based on my own personal miscarriage experiences:
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<td><span style="font-family: verdana, geneva; font-size: medium;">Instead of Saying:     </span></td>
<td valign="middle"><span style="font-family: verdana, geneva; font-size: medium;">Try Saying:     </span></td>
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<td scope="rowgroup"><span style="font-size: small;">It was for the best </span></td>
<td><span style="font-size: small;">I'm sorry                    </span></td>
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<td><span style="font-size: small;">At least you didn't feel your baby move yet</span></td>
<td><span style="font-size: small;">I know you were already in love with your baby</span></td>
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<td><span style="font-size: small;">You're young you have lots of  time</span></td>
<td><span style="font-size: small;">I'm here when   you need me</span></td>
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<td><span style="font-size: small;">At least you can have fun trying </span><span style="font-size: small;">again</span></td>
<td><span style="font-size: small;">Nothing...just listen or give a hug</span></td>
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<td><span style="font-size: small;">I know how you feel</span></td>
<td><span style="font-size: small;">How are you feeling?</span></td>
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<td><span style="font-size: small;">You need to _________________</span><span style="font-size: small;">
</span>

(stop working so much, stop exercising, relax, etc -</td>
<td><span style="font-size: small;">It's not your fault</span></td>
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